I try so hard to do the right things in life in serving God even though I’m not perfect. Why does it seem like nothing ever goes right? I have no friends but even Jesus had disciples. I’m like the black sheep of my family. To make a long story short, I feel like if Jesus came in the same building as me, he would tend to everyone else and not even notice that I was there. I also think that He hears everyone but me except when I pray for others. Then He hears me.
Mammie From Unknown Location
Seeing through the wrong lens (Part 1)
Have you ever tried on someone’s pair of glasses who has a very strong prescription when your own eyes have normal vision? How do things look? Blurry and wavy, right? You have to take them off immediately because you start to get dizzy and you certainly can’t see clearly.
But what if someone asked you to get in a car and make a road trip with them and you were to be the driver with those lenses that distort everything? Of course you would say “no way” – not if the both of you wanted to make it safely to the intended destination. I believe this example represents the way you are traveling through your life.
You see your life through a lens (a spiritual one) that significantly distorts your view and impairs your travel. It’s the wrong lens but unless you take those glasses off there is no way for you to see the truth. I can quote scripture after scripture telling you how you are God’s unique creation and that he loves you and numbers the hairs on your head but as long as the wrong glasses stay in place you will not be able to see it.
How do we get the wrong lens on to begin with? Usually it happens when we are small. We look to our parents particularly to affirm our worth and value. If they make us feel loved we see life with normal vision. Sometimes they fail us miserably though (someone probably failed them miserably too) and we end up feeling worthless, rejected, less than acceptable. Then if we learn about God we transfer our skewed self-image onto him and see him just like those who failed us to begin with.
My guess is that some damage with done to your self-image when you were a child. You got the idea (through actual events or the way you took things) that you never measured up, that you were different, unlovable, that others were loved but not you. Once the glasses came on and you were seeing things distorted life pretty much confirmed the view you already had. Now here you are an adult. You are convinced that no matter how hard you try God sees you as a second-class citizen.
Remove the glasses (Part 2)
If you want to take the glasses off there is hope for your vision to become crystal clear. You may say, “Of course I do! Otherwise I wouldn’t have written in.” But wait a moment. If you want to see clearly you’re going to have some awfully hard work ahead of you. You are going to have to unlearn—and reject, all the stuff that isn’t true. And you will have to ruthlessly beat back self-pity at every turn until it gives up and turns tail.
Are you ready? First you must recognize and admit that your vision is blurred. The way you see God is not the truth. He would not come into a building and ignore YOU. Call that the lie it is. Read scripture thoroughly and find out how he really feels about you and don’t allow any “Yes, buts…” to wiggle their way back into your thinking or your speaking. Start speaking the truth about yourself, even if your emotions don’t follow suit immediately. “I am NOT the black sheep of my family. I am a gift to my family and God placed me there to be a blessing.” Counter every lie EVERY time. See what I mean about what hard work this will be?
Honestly evaluate how much self-pity already permeates your perspective. Self-pity invites us to take an easy road; that of victim. Everything is “their” fault. We’ve been mistreated, put upon and everyone should feel sorry for how unfairly our life has gone so far. Self-pity keeps us bound and it keeps the glasses with the wrong lenses strapped firmly in place. Treat it like a poison snake. Lop its head off quick!
You may want to get some help in seeing the truth for the first time in a very long time. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a Christian counselor or pastor or support group (as long as the group doesn’t sit around and simply commiserate). Pray that God will lead you to a path of healing that is just right for you. Trust that he will. Don’t dare tell me he won’t do that for you! Those are the old lenses and you are removing them, right?
Finally, remember this: “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16)