Once I was in a very agitated state and I asked God to destroy me. Since I don’t believe in suicide I thought it would be better for God to simply destroy me. God did not do it but soon after, a ministry that I treasured was taken from me and given to others. This hurts terribly and I feel very degraded and I call myself RETARD and many other names on a daily basis. I feel I’m totally worthless at this stage. Could one act of temper bring on the wrath of God like this?
- MP From Dallas, Texas
What is a word curse? (Part 1)
You asked a question regarding your agitated state and your subsequent loss: “Could one act of temper bring on the wrath of God like this?” I’ll answer that quickly, and move on to the real issue you appear oblivious to, but which I think is the actual root of your problem.
It’s understandable that a person might be so distressed with their circumstances that they burst out like you did. Foolish yes, but connecting dots between an imprudent rant and the loss you mention is actually much more foolish.
Is the loss of the ministry you loved the result of God’s wrath? Absolutely NOT. God has only good thoughts toward you and you certainly cannot manipulate him or direct him to destroy you and have him obey. End of that discussion.
Now let’s talk about what can really aid your own destruction. Word curses. Calling yourself a RETARD, along with whatever other names you use, are poisons coming out of your own mouth and I hope I can convince you to stop it immediately.
What is a word curse? A curse invokes harm or injury on someone and in this case you are speaking harm against yourself. Listen to what the Bible says about the power of your own words. “With the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach will be satisfied; he will be satisfied with the product of his lips. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18: 20-21)
Watch what you say about yourself because you “will eat its fruit.” Remember that God ordered creation by speaking. He said, “Let there be light” and there was light, etc. He set a mighty powerful precedent for the creative power of what we say to come forth. That’s no doubt why we are given such a strong admonition in Proverbs.
Perhaps there is a history of using word curses in your family, and maybe you grew up hearing bad things about yourself. If that is the case, now is the time to put an end to it and reverse the curse. You can do that by starting to tell yourself the truth.
Telling yourself the truth (Part 2)
Always encounter lies with truth—the darkness loses its strength when light comes in. And what is the truth about you? The scripture is literally teaming with words you can speak out about yourself which will bring blessing instead of a curse.
Every time you come across one in your Bible, write it down until you have a whole library of blessings to speak over yourself. I’ll start you off.
“I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). All of Psalm 139 contains marvelous blessing you can pronounce upon yourself.
“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Are you his? If he does not condemn you why do you condemn yourself?
“The Lord will accomplish what concerns me” (Psalm 138:8). Ministry is not what you give to God but what he gives to you. If he wishes you to do something more for him, he will bring it along and now that you are wiser you may handle it better.
“Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you” (Isaiah 60:1). Turn that into a declaration for yourself!
“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us” (Ephesians 1:7). It’s all about his grace versus your works, isn’t it?
There. Only a small sampling but I hope you will get the idea. Now start speaking only truth about yourself and completely drop the word curses. Begin anew because God is all about hope and restoration, and we are yet to see what he still has in mind for you!