Can this marriage be restored?

Straight Talk

The Question:

My husband left me one year ago for another woman who he is now in a public affair and practically living together with. He has refused to have any kind of communication with me. Can a marriage be restored when one spouse is living with another woman and refuses to communicate with the other spouse? If yes, how?

MW from Turks & Caicos Islands

The Answer
Part 1: In God’s Hands

In God’s Hands (Part 1)

There is so much unknown about this situation which may affect the outcome. BUT, maybe it is better not to know all the details because the chances for restoration do not rely on the circumstances as much as in the outcome of the spiritual battle going on. Of course it is possible for this marriage to be restored. Yet, I do not want to give you false hope; I do not know how the whole thing will turn out.

What I can do for you is pose some questions for your consideration and some things to be doing in the background even with no communication. It is quite possible that the current lack of communication will provide a buffer – a time out which will ultimately work positively toward reconciliation.

To what extent are you willing to pray and even fast for restoration? I’m sure you are praying now but you may need to get very serious and approach this from a spiritual warfare point of view. This is prayer that is intense, targeted, Spirit led, tenacious and bold. Adding fasting to your prayer also gives it a power boost.

Are you willing to place this marriage under honest scrutiny and submit it to God? That means; can you examine the roots of the marriage, both good and bad, and be prepared to make any changes necessary on your end? By that I do not mean your husband had any justification for leaving and committing adultery. He did not. I am also sure that he has found a way to justify himself. However, if he returns, how can this marriage be built on more solid ground and what can you do to contribute to that?

The time you wait can be very productive for you both spiritually and emotionally. As you pray and trust God your relationship with him will deepen and you will be more sensitive to God’s voice in giving you direction for your future. Protect your emotions by not speculating OR daydreaming. Do not let bitterness take root. Practice forgiveness without feeling like a doormat. Grow and bloom into a beautiful flower fragrant to the Lord and to those around you.

Know this: “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31) God is for you and he will work this for good in your life. Trust him!