Recently I received an email from a lady whose close friend is unable to get over the death of her son. Though it has been three years since the accident, her friend still says she doesn’t want to live. What can she possibly say or do to bring comfort?

Well, three years doesn’t seem over the top considering it is the death of a child. I’m sure that in certain ways, one never gets over it. On the other hand, there is a point when grief serves no purpose but to rob the remaining life. A time must come to move on.

If grief goes on excessively, one thing to ask is: who is this grief serving now? Certainly it is not serving the one who died. Is it serving guilt? Is it serving selfishness? Is it serving the past? These are tough things to admit and deal with especially because it is easy to cover our motives and wallow in self pity.

Even though it is hard, our best comfort for someone who seems stuck may be to help lift them beyond themselves. They need to see all the things God still has planned for their life and all the purpose they have yet to fulfill.

Grief is a natural process meant to take us somewhere; not to be a permanent condition. The truth is: “Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). As we comfort those who grieve, let us be sure to remind them: they are meant to see morning!